From Surviving to Thriving

I worked in corporate environments for most of my career and, for many years, struggled with the belief that I wasn’t quite good enough.  I took it as a reflection on me, believing I wasn’t coping as well as others or as capable as my peers.  This left me stressed and anxious in certain situations and eroded my confidence.  Decisions took longer, and conversations became harder, which only reinforced this belief.

I realised it was getting in the way of me achieving my full potential.  It wasn’t just work that was affected; my personal life was too.   I began to withdraw and lost touch with friends because I didn’t want them to see me this way.  I felt increasingly isolated and lonely and decided it was time to do something about it.

Understanding became a turning point

Although I had studied psychology, I felt I didn’t have the depth of knowledge to understand what was happening to me or how I could change it.  Neuroscience was beginning to gain recognition at the time, so I decided to study anything I could in the hope of finding answers about how the brain and mind work, how they influence the body and vice versa.

Learning more about the brain helped me make sense of what was happening, particularly how the nervous system responds when it detects an actual or perceived threat.  That threat does not have to be physical; it can also be psychological or social, such as the fear of failure, criticism or being judged.  The fight-or-flight response prepares us to act quickly, which can be protective when we are in danger.  However, when it activates in everyday situations or repeatedly over time, it can affect our focus, reactions, ability to make balanced decisions, and much more.  This growing knowledge didn’t give me all the answers or make things easier, but it helped me stop interpreting what I was feeling as evidence of personal failure.

The question shifted from, “What is wrong with me?” to, “What is happening within me, and what can I do differently?”

Not every belief belongs in our future

I began to recognise that some of the beliefs shaping my thoughts, emotions and behaviour had taken root much earlier in life.  We absorb messages and form beliefs through our experiences as we grow up.  Some may once have helped us feel accepted, avoid criticism or protect us, but that doesn’t mean they still serve us well as adults.

The belief that I was not good enough felt convincing because it was familiar, not because it was a fact.  Learning to challenge the assumptions I had formed about myself was a key step in building new beliefs and thinking patterns that better supported my future goals.  This wasn’t about positive thinking.  It was about noticing unhelpful thoughts, questioning the assumptions behind them, and finding a more balanced, helpful perspective rather than letting old beliefs shape how I saw myself and what I was capable of.

As I strengthened these new beliefs, I began to think, feel and respond differently.  My stress and anxiety levels reduced considerably, while my confidence and self-belief increased.  I also developed practical ways to support myself in difficult situations and strengthen my resilience and wellbeing over time.

Small steps can make the biggest difference

There was no single dramatic breakthrough.  Meaningful change came through a variety of tools, techniques and practices I could use when I needed them, along with small micro-habits I gradually built into my everyday life.  Here are a few changes I made that helped.

Reframing old thinking patterns was one of my first key steps.  I spent time building new, more empowering beliefs and consciously focused on my inner narrative.   Whenever I noticed an unhelpful thought, I challenged it and focused on a more balanced alternative.  I also looked for opportunities to act from the new beliefs I wanted to strengthen and lean into challenges rather than avoid them.

Breathing techniques helped when I felt stressed or anxious, as they can activate the parasympathetic nervous system and promote a calmer, more relaxed state.  One I found easy to use anywhere was box breathing, which involves breathing in for four counts, holding for four, breathing out for four, and holding for four.  Slowing my breathing in this way helped me feel calmer and more focused.

Movement became another important part of supporting both my mind and body.  I began with a ten-minute walk each day and over time added more energetic exercise to my weekly routine.  I found that even a short amount of movement helped lift my mood, reduce stress, and improve my energy, focus, and clarity of thought.   What mattered most was being consistent.

Ten minutes of mindfulness a day helped me stay present, rather than repeatedly dwelling on the past or anticipating what might go wrong.  It didn’t stop unhelpful thoughts from appearing, but it helped me notice and challenge them without automatically being carried away by them, creating space to respond differently.

I also learnt the importance of reaching out.  Withdrawing from others can feel safer when we are struggling, but it can leave us feeling increasingly isolated and lonely.  Reaching out and reconnecting with family and friends helped me realise that asking for support is not a weakness.

Together, these small steps helped change how I saw myself and how I lived my life.

Living life more purposefully

I firmly believe we have more influence over how we manage and respond to our thoughts, emotions, and experiences than we realise, yet many of us are not taught how to do this.   As I began to see the benefits of these changes in my life, I applied what I was learning in my work as a business psychologist and coach, supporting others to optimise their mind, strengthen their resilience and achieve their potential.  Later, completing an MA in counselling deepened my understanding of the human condition and gave me further approaches to use with clients where appropriate.

Over time, I saw the value clients gained from understanding the mind–body connection, using practical, science-backed strategies in the moment, and building micro-habits that supported meaningful, sustainable change.  The benefits often extended beyond work into other areas of their lives, including relationships.

I believe proactively building our knowledge and skills around the mind–body connection can help us respond in ways that are more helpful to us and, in some cases, avoid reaching a crisis point. My personal experience, together with seeing the changes in my clients, led me to create Wellbeing Moments: to make practical, science-backed knowledge from psychology and applied neuroscience more accessible.  Through coaching, workshops, retreats, guided meditations, and counselling, I help people shift patterns that no longer serve them, strengthen their resilience and wellbeing, and create meaningful change towards the life they want with greater clarity, confidence and purpose.

Meaningful change rarely happens all at once.  It can begin with understanding ourselves differently, making small shifts one at a time, and building from there.

Whether you are struggling to manage life’s demands, seeking change, wanting to feel better or perform at your best, we can help.  You can find more information about what we offer on our website: www.wellbeingmoments.com.  If you are not sure where to start, you can contact us at hello@wellbeingmoments.com  to arrange a free 20-minute discovery call, where we can explore where you are now, what you want to change, and the kind of support that would be most useful to you.